The other night I read this verse during my devotions and it seemed to leap out from the page at me:
That was Ahithophel’s (seriously, where do they get these names?) strategy for destroying David, and in my opinion, it was a really good one. I truly believe this is how the Enemy works in my life. He isn’t like us. He is not impulsive or overeager. Instead, he waits…and waits…and waits… for the most opportune time and then straight up pounces. I am a fighter. I won’t give up. But, if I’m tired, and emotionally exhausted and afraid of the future, then all trust in God seems to dramatically dissipate.
Life just isn’t always easy. There will be moments of discouragement. And discouragement seems to always be the Enemy’s most useful tool in my life.
I am so thankful for this man’s influence in my life. And I happen to be lucky enough to call him “Dad”. He has taught me so many challenging lessons and still continues to. However, one of the greatest things he ever advised me was, “Jen, don’t ever make a decision when you are discouraged.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard my Dad say this. And, his words are so valuable, because my feelings, like everyone else’s, are fickle and ever-changing.
I lived with my parents for six months this year. At first, I was seriously humiliated. I mean, here I was, 25 years-old, holding no-degree, about to be unemployed, listening to my Dad snore through the ceiling and answering phone calls at 9:30 pm to “check-in”. (This would continue each hour until I came home. I actually told my Dad that I was contemplating calling AT&T to block his number from my phone!) The whole situation was such a difference from the past 6 years. Some imagine divorce to be simple; a quick signature on a clean sheet of paper. It’s far more complex and life-altering. As much as I “hated” living with Jerry and Christie then, I know I will greatly cherish that time I had with my parents, and I’m not talking about all the free dinners (although, that was seriously, wonderful). There were moments, late into the night, when I came home after working all day, and helping out at Hope Care or whatever I was involved in. Like David, I was weary, weak and afraid. I would cry and say, “Dad, is this it? Has God forgotten me? (Wow, I am being really real here.) Will I ever be married again? Will I ever even trust someone enough for that again? Is my life just completely purposeless now? Dad, I miss ministry, and helping people. What now?”
And in those moments, my parents would remind me of the truth of God’s Word. That “no good thing will He withold from those who walk uprightly.” That my future was bright. That, I was just tired and needed to go to sleep. And that I needed to eat something and put some meat on my bones, because guys like girls with a little “extra”!
So, basically, all I’m trying to say is this:
At those moments of weakness, weariness and fear, we must simply stick it out and trust in the One who is all-powerful, never slumbers, and fears nothing.
Oh, and on a side note, Ahithophel hanged himself and David survived. Ha.
>You have encouraged me so much Jen! Thanks for the great reminder! Praying for you 🙂 -Kirstie Cihak
>Thank you for being really real with us here and sharing the insight of your most recent experiences. Minus the divorce parts, I'm tracking right with you in terms of the ways we must battle discouragements and make careful decisions… while we just keep on fighting, breathing (& eating)!! : ) Ha!Thank you Jenilee Nicole
>Jen! I love this post. Thank you for being so real. I know that your words will encourage others. I am so thankful for the refining process that is happening in your life because I KNOW that God has great things ahead for you.Love you!
>JENILEE- You Rock my world and I love you to Death! Your realness is wonderful and your heart is pure. The encouragment I have to offer you is that when you feel like you've come to the end of the rope… Tie a knot and hang on, because the ride is just begining! Sometimes we can't stop looking at the door that has just shut long enough to see other doors that are opening! I know God has big plans for your life and I can't wait to see what all he unfolds for you!Love you-Jess
>Ah, I got such a good laugh out of that last line. Nice. Great word Jen…Satan's greatest tool truly is discouragement. Dr Falwell always used to say, "You do not determine a man's greatness by his talent or wealth, as the world does, but rather by what it takes to discourage him."Thanks for being honest and real…this will help someone else in need.