hope

I have this vision of my wedding day.

Rose petals part the white, wooden chairs which have made fresh craters in the warm sand. My ivory veil blows softly in the ocean breeze. French manicured toes contrast sharply against tanned feet as I take each step towards my awaiting future. Friends and family squint in the glare from the sun while hosting soft smiles and several tear streaked cheeks.

I gently put my hand on Dad’s arm to slow his pace as we walk. Raising my head, I catch the gaze from the tie-dyed green and yellow eyes of my handsome groom. Far more beautiful than the aqua, ocean foam horizon, is his gorgeous smile and the story his eyes tell without ever uttering a word, much less a syllable.  Fingers interlock tightly, while our smiles threaten to explode. With choked back emotion, we will promise each other faithfulness and unconditional love. 

After this day, life will continue to throw its curve balls…but for this moment we will experience an unfamiliar feeling. Time will stand still as God bestows absolute perfect peace. And joy. 

*****************************************************************************

I remember, last January, flying home while staring out the little, foggy window to the twinkling colored lights below. I had just finished reading this book. As  the plane descended an interesting thing happened. Just as those multicolored miniature lights grew larger and larger, in the deepest part of my heart something began to grow. It started out small, but soon its light threatened to take over my whole being. Hope. If I could go back to Creation Day, as the Potter set out to mold His human clay, I would ask God for a double dosage of this powerful drug. Because it’s true – hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark.

Yes, my first round of “til death due us part” had eroded. Yes, I felt like I was living in a pitch-black dark room. But there, in that dark room, God held out His hand of hope and promised to give me every “desire of my heart”. After tragedy, I believe the most pivotal point, is teaching your heart to hope once again. 

“Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heaven…” James 1:17

2 thoughts on “hope

  1. Can you write a Book? I feel like just as I read this post I’m hanging on to every word with excitement and eagerness to hear what is next.

    Hope, holds our hand even when we let go!

    Your Wedding is so close and I’m so blessed to have been by your side through everything life has thrown your way.

    Love you
    Jess

  2. JLee, I love you. And my heart is SO happy for you and so thankful for God’s provisions in your life. I feel like I say those same sentiments every time I comment on your blog but I continue to feel that way so I guess I’ll continue to say it. 😉

    Thank you for writing this. I’m going to share it on my blog today.

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