Author Archives: Jenilee

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if only for one


I am addicted to following coverage of the devastation in Japan. Maybe it’s simply the overwhelming magnitude of annihilation. It’s difficult not to be curious and saying it’s surreal is an understatement. Today, I was reading updates-

-Death toll now surpassed 3,000
-Aftershocks still plaguing the country
-Japan has shifted 2.4 meters due to the earthquake
-People facing their 5th night without water or electricity
-Snow expected to fall throughout Japan
-People hungry, freezing and missing their family members
-Threat of radiation poison

Talk about depressing. My heart goes out to the millions of people affected by this tragedy. It seems as if it literally could not get any worse. But, then, as if someone turned on a light in a pitch black room, I stumbled upon this…

“In a rare bit of good news, rescuers found two survivors Tuesday in the rubble left by the tsunami that hit…”
After four long days of being buried alive, two people are saved, pulled from the midst of debris. Crazy! Ninety-six hours of impending death. Truly, a miracle. And enough to give those rescue workers the most powerful tool they can possess – hope. Suddenly hours of exhausting, hard work, dealing with the cold, the wet, the depression, the hunger, the emotion…was all worth it. Because, if only for one saved life, the work was worth it.

That’s pretty powerful stuff. It amazing what the power of one person can accomplish. I take two things from this:

1) If everything I’ve gone through this year – the pain, hurt, rejection, humiliation, fear, anxiety, vulnerability, lack of trust, lostness, discouragment, stress, loneliness… is for the purpose of helping just ONE person who will go through a similar situation – it is worth it. Because hope is a powerful drug. (Lest you think that is easy for me to say, I type it biting my lip and with hesitancy) I have a cousin, who also went through a failed marraige. She reached out to me and she will never know how she comforted me. If even to remind me, “No Jen, you’re not crazy. I felt that too.”

2 Cor 1:3-4 “God comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.”
2) You matter. Insert ridiculously cheesy quote- “in the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.” So cheesy, but hey, it’s true.

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my first song

This Sunday, we played the song I wrote with Danny Davis. Check it out and let me know what you think!

I Come To You
Verse 1:
Broken I come to You
My shelter in the pouring rain
In my weakness, You’re made stronger
And I begin to see

Chorus:
At the foot of the cross
Is where I’m finally free
Though broken and bruised
You’ve restored me
Now take these chains and throw them away

Verse 2:
Broken I come to You
My cure for the pain
For Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light
And I begin to see

Bridge:
You found me
You bought me
You opened my eyes
Now take me and change me for the rest of my life

Music has been a huge outlet for me. I’m not sure what it is about it, but it brings so much peace to my mind. My favorite time of the entire week is Saturday afternoon, practicing worship music with a bunch of high schoolers. (Shout out to Billy, David, Danny, Lauren, Gabby, and Katie – I love you all like little brothers and sisters. You have continually made me laugh! Especially when David threatens to stop playing if Billy plays “Only You” Raggae style. ha.)

I think the next song I attempt to write will come from this Scripture:
2 Sam 7:18-21
King David went in, took his place before God, and prayed: “Who am I, my Master God, and what is my family, that you have brought me to this place in life? But that’s nothing compared to what’s coming, for you’ve also spoken of my family far into the future, given me a glimpse into tomorrow, my Master God! What can I possibly say in the face of all this? You know me, Master God, just as I am. You’ve done all this not because of who I am but because of who you are—out of your very heart!—but you’ve let me in on it.

These verses captivate me. So often, we as people just continually cry out to God to give, bless, fix, judge, help, restore, renew…and the list goes on. But, here David just simply says, “Dang God, WHO AM I to even receive any of these blessings from you? I’m a nobody and I don’t deserve it.”

How cool – for God to “let David in” on the secret of his future. I would give anything for God to give me just a quick vision of what He has in store for me. It would make the present much more bearable. Hate to say it, but I’m jealous of David. I wish I could see what God has waiting down the road for me. So yeah, I think I will try to write a song about this.

That’s all 😉

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larry

 

The last six months have not been easy, but I would not change anything that has happened to me. Back in November, I started going to the Hope Care Center with the Tarchala’s on Thursday nights. Hope Care houses around 15 patients with AIDS and HIV. Every Thursday, we lead worship and a Bible Study. Hope Care gave me the new perspective that I desperately needed. For weeks, I was feeling so sorry for myself…until I met Larry.

I’ll never forget that first night. Larry is confined to a wheel chair and he talked about how much healthier he felt and how his dream was to be able to walk again. Larry would always say, “I wake up each morning and say two things: There is a God and I am not Him!” Thank God for Larry. Here I was feeling sorry for myself and my misfortunes, when this man could not even WALK, yet he possessed peace and the “joy of the Lord”. 

 A few weeks ago, Larry started having high blood pressure. One morning he was non-responsive and was taken to the ER. He was taken off life support this week and last night went home to be with Jesus. I can’t believe he is gone already. I will miss him. I am glad he isn’t hurting anymore. I love you Larry. Can’t wait to see you one day. Thank you for being you – you helped me more than you’ll know and you are forever my friend. Jen

James 4:14 “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”
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reckless praise

I’m not much of a blogger. So, this should be interesting.

My recent reading has all the makings of a juicy, dramatic, titillating story-the half-naked king dancing around in front of the civilians; the bitter wife scolding him with her hands on her hips; the sparkling, golden Ark of the Covenant said to house the very presence of God Himself. I love this story.

So here we are: King David and 30,000 of his men are finally bringing the Ark of the Covenent HOME to Jerusalem. This thing would blow Macy’s Thanksgiving parade out of the water! I’m picturing balloons, loud music, dancing, singing and what not. The whole city is partying!

“Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the LORD with all his might…As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart.”How wonderfully the king has distinguished himself today—exposing himself to the eyes of the servants’ maids like some burlesque street dancer!” David replied to Michal, “In God‘s presence I’ll dance all I want…Oh yes, I’ll dance to God‘s glory—more recklessly even than this. And as far as I’m concerned…I’ll gladly look like a fool…”

I always get such amusement picturing David dancing in his underwear as if nobody is watching. I imagine David was giddy with excitement because the very presence of God was going to be in Jerusalem again. Finally.

There just is nothing comparable to the presence of God in my life. No relationship, nothing materialistic, literally nothing is comparable to feeling Jesus. I love Psalm 84:10, “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked.”

I can relate to this. I’ve had a nice house. I’ve had a husband. I’ve had exciting plans for my future. I’ve had everything I’ve ever needed – at least I thought I did. But, nothing can compare to the sweet, sweet friendship of the Savior. Because when I’ve experienced unhindered fellowship with Him, I haven’t needed for anything.

It hasn’t been an easy road, but HE‘S been there. And I won’t look back.