no more blank screens

I was blessed to meet my very best friend, Jessie, the summer before my senior year of high school. We met at youth camp in Florida and like most girls, were consumed with jealously of one another before we discovered that in actuality we had much in common. That summer started a frienship that I believe will last a lifetime.

The best way to describe her is by stealing the words from the author of Proverbs 17:17, “a friend loves at all times“. I’ve learned that it’s an extremely rare thing to find a faithful friend – one who will love you day in, day out, no matter what decisions you make; whether life is heaven or hell. We have seen each other through rain and shine, spiritual highs and times of sin. I will never ever forget the way she dropped everything when I told her about my divorce – she drove in from Wichita and stood right next to my side as my world crumbled. I don’t remember her saying anything profound. But, I just remember her being there.

Since we both work desk jobs I have frequently emailed her this year. She has been like my unseen, invisible angel – the person I have shared every emotion with – from the day I finally received the signed divorce decree after a year of pain, the day the pipes burst in my house and destroyed everything, the day I knew Jeff was going to pick out an engagement ring, and every high and low in between.

It’s brought me tremendous peace to know that she’s literally been one click away everyday. All it takes is to hit the “send” button and I know someone will be there to share my burden and help me keep my head up.

Isn’t this a picture of God in our lives? Unfortunately, most of us forget He’s even there. And regardless, does He even care about the anxieties and burdens of our hearts? I imagine God, like Jessie, sitting in front of His gmail account, desperately awaiting to hear from me. Over and over, He presses the “refresh” button. Not only does He want to hear from me, but He desires to take away my burdens. He wants to reassure me that He’s working all things for good and yearns to overflow His peace into my soul.

How many times have I left Him staring at the screen? How many times have I told dozens of people what I’m dealing with, never considering to come to the Problem Solver Himself? Back in September, when emotionally I was doing everything I could to hold on I prayed continually – passionate, real prayers. I poured out my heart to Him. I have never felt such communion with God. I felt completely stripped before God – I hid nothing. I exchanged Him – my hurt, anger and fear – for His unmatchable peace.

Seeing as I’m about to start a new chapter in my life, I went out an purchased a new journal, which will serve as my prayer journal. Words are powerful and therapeutic in my life. I can’t wait to use this journal to tell God my every emotion and feeling about anything in my life. He truly serves as our best friend and it’s comforting to know I can go to him…with anything.