no more blank screens

I was blessed to meet my very best friend, Jessie, the summer before my senior year of high school. We met at youth camp in Florida and like most girls, were consumed with jealously of one another before we discovered that in actuality we had much in common. That summer started a frienship that I believe will last a lifetime.

The best way to describe her is by stealing the words from the author of Proverbs 17:17, “a friend loves at all times“. I’ve learned that it’s an extremely rare thing to find a faithful friend – one who will love you day in, day out, no matter what decisions you make; whether life is heaven or hell. We have seen each other through rain and shine, spiritual highs and times of sin. I will never ever forget the way she dropped everything when I told her about my divorce – she drove in from Wichita and stood right next to my side as my world crumbled. I don’t remember her saying anything profound. But, I just remember her being there.

Since we both work desk jobs I have frequently emailed her this year. She has been like my unseen, invisible angel – the person I have shared every emotion with – from the day I finally received the signed divorce decree after a year of pain, the day the pipes burst in my house and destroyed everything, the day I knew Jeff was going to pick out an engagement ring, and every high and low in between.

It’s brought me tremendous peace to know that she’s literally been one click away everyday. All it takes is to hit the “send” button and I know someone will be there to share my burden and help me keep my head up.

Isn’t this a picture of God in our lives? Unfortunately, most of us forget He’s even there. And regardless, does He even care about the anxieties and burdens of our hearts? I imagine God, like Jessie, sitting in front of His gmail account, desperately awaiting to hear from me. Over and over, He presses the “refresh” button. Not only does He want to hear from me, but He desires to take away my burdens. He wants to reassure me that He’s working all things for good and yearns to overflow His peace into my soul.

How many times have I left Him staring at the screen? How many times have I told dozens of people what I’m dealing with, never considering to come to the Problem Solver Himself? Back in September, when emotionally I was doing everything I could to hold on I prayed continually – passionate, real prayers. I poured out my heart to Him. I have never felt such communion with God. I felt completely stripped before God – I hid nothing. I exchanged Him – my hurt, anger and fear – for His unmatchable peace.

Seeing as I’m about to start a new chapter in my life, I went out an purchased a new journal, which will serve as my prayer journal. Words are powerful and therapeutic in my life. I can’t wait to use this journal to tell God my every emotion and feeling about anything in my life. He truly serves as our best friend and it’s comforting to know I can go to him…with anything.

One thought on “no more blank screens

  1. Jeni- You are the most amazing girl I’ve ever met! God had a HUGE Smile on his face when he introduced us… because he knew that while we wouldn’t see it at first, we’d soon come to realize that we were ment to be the world’s greatest BEST FRIENDS EVER! I think we’ve succeeded at that!! You make me laugh and bring me so much happiness. I’m glad that we’ve been able to stick by each other as life get thrown at us the good and the bad, the pretty and the ugly!! We started as young, boy crazy, little blondies, who didn’t have a care in the world. We’ve grown to become women who still love our blond hair but have been sold out, head over heels…for Me it’s Drew and for You it’s Jeff…and no other boys are even worth a second glance. The love us, they adore us, they would do anything for us, and they are our Best Friends who complete us. We found ourselves the best Husbands Ever and I’m so glad that we’re able to share our lives together. You are the Mac to my Cheese and life wouldn’t be the same with out you in it! God didn’t intend for all of us to have loads of friends that we call to hang out with and get together with… Because its friends like you that mean more than a whole hand full of girls to me. You’re one in a million and I’m glad that we’re BESTIES!

    I’ll always only be one blank screen away… a short 3 hours down the road… But we’ll always be BEST FRIENDS!

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