Tag Archives: jenilee johnston

by - 1 Comment

bringing back Christmas

I absolutely adore this time of the year. A side of me that I’ve never seen before has been slowly appearing. In the kitchen, I’ve evolved into a woman that is learning to cook and bake. In the living room, I finally mastered the Christmas tree decorations without begging my sister to come over and fix it. I’ve taken time to press the pause button on life and enjoy driving down a street intoxicated with Christmas lights.

But, what I love most about this time of year is remembering the origin and focus of Christmas; the miracle of it all. I’m a hopeless sucker for a good story and the real story of Christmas; well, it’s the greatest tale of all. Jesus’ coming is a story spun of suspense, love, sacrifice, drama and fulfilled promises.

As the November page is ripped from the calendar and the month of snow and gifts arrive, we will celebrate the advent season. I never really knew what advent meant, did you? Advent comes from the Latin word adventus meaning arrival or coming. For the four weeks leading up to Christmas, the advent season celebrates the coming of the Savior and Messiah. Advent is about resetting Jesus as the center of our lives.

I found this awesome Christmas reading plan on Cissie Graham Lynch‘s blog, and I want to pay it forward to all of you. The reading plan comes from You Version; an easily readable 24-day plan leading up to Christmas Eve. Each daily reading is followed by some thought-provoking questions.

Jeff and I started the plan this evening and really enjoyed discussing the questions afterwards! I’m excited to wake up early on Christmas morning not just to give Jeff his gifts, but to have Jesus at the center of my holiday.

Dec 1: Luke 2:21-40

Dec 2: Matthew 1

Dec 3: Luke 2:1-20

Dec 4: Mark 9:33-37

Dec 5: Matthew 4:12-17,  Isaiah 9:1-3, Matt 5:14-16

Dec 6: Acts 20:35, 1 John 4:10

Dec 7: Exodus 25

Dec 8: Matthew 25:31-46

Dec 9: Isaiah 9:6-7, Revelation 19:1-16, 1 Timothy 6:11-16

Dec 10: Matthew 1:22-23, Isaiah 7:10-15, John 1:14

Dec 11: Genesis 1, Isaiah 1:18, Psalm 51:1-10

Dec 12: Revelation 2:1-5, 1 John 3:1-3

Dec 13: Psalm 150

Dec 14: Acts 15:22-31

Dec 15: Luke 1, Jeremiah 32:17

Dec 16: Matthew 2:1-12

Dec 17: Galatians 4:1-7

Dec 18:Isaiah 58, Matthew 6:16-18

Dec 19: Luke 11:1-13

Dec 20: John 1

Dec 21: John 21:25

Dec 22: Psalm 100

Dec 23: Matthew 25

Dec 24: John 3:16

Dec 25: Luke 1:26-56, Matthew 1:18-25, Luke 2:1-40

P.S. Jeff says he’s never heard of stringing popcorn garland on the Christmas tree. Tell me I’m not the only one who did this growing up!!?

by - 0 comments

from someone who’s been there

On our recent road trip, I couldn’t help but get sucked into some celebrity gossip while passing the time. If there’s anything I’ve learned this past year it’s that I’m in no place to judge any other person for their life. But, with that said, it’s shocking to me to read of celebrities who have lavish, public weddings only to change their minds 72 days later and file for divorce.

Our culture has cheapened the covenant of marriage. Instead of a permanent, lifetime bond, marriage has now become a trial – if it fits, wonderful; if not, just take it back off and throw it aside! Divorce used to be likened to a curse word; the simple utterance of it bringing a distaste to the mouth. Now, divorce is a common word – and it breaks my heart.

Is divorce as simple as some celebrities make it out to be? Does it even have lasting implications? Or is it easy? For me, it was real and destructive in these ways…

1. Financially – I only preferred my lawyer to do the bare-minimum for me, but with lawyers, everything costs. During every phone call, every email, and every meeting the clock is ticking and the calculator is adding up. I literally turned over my entire final paycheck to my lawyer. I remember selling  my entire library of beloved books to pay yet another attorney bill. I got another job working at a salon during the holidays to continue paying those bills. Divorce is not cheap. If it’s anything like mine, the cost will be in the thousands.

2. Time – From the first time I met with my lawyer to the date I received the signed divorce decree back from the judge was five long months. Struggling through a divorce was extremely painful for me. I knew the marriage was over and biblically speaking, it was irreparable – so to just sit around and wait was difficult. I longed to have my maiden last name back and to start working towards discovering who I was again. I wanted to be done arguing over real estate, the separation of bills, and our material goods. Time was the enemy. After everything I’d suffered through – I just wanted it to be over. 

3. Family Relations – It hurts to lose people and it hurts to lose in-laws, whether they be mothers, grandmothers or sisters. Divorce is painful during the holidays. It’s difficult letting go of old traditions and forming new ones. (My incredible new husband has helped me so much in trusting people again and not being so skeptical of their love towards me. He is my hero.)

4. Disappointments – mine and others. I remember speaking with a friend who took over the youth ministry with her husband after us. She told me, “The teenagers are really hurting. They keep saying, ‘Marriage means nothing anymore. If ____ and Jen couldn’t make it last, then who can?'” That phone call took the wind out of my sails. I spent five years trying to be an example to the students I was working with and even though I wasn’t in control of my spouse and his decisions, it still hurt that my marriage had let those kids down. But, looking back – I think through my divorce, I taught them more than I ever did while working in the youth ministry. Because, they were able to watch me at my lowest – praising God instead of cursing him.

5. Material goods – We were living in a beautiful house, but during the divorce neither of us could afford it any longer. We had never missed a house payment, and yet, I ended up having to short-sale my house. I must have spend 30 hours on the phone with my mortgage company and real estate agent in negotiations. Here I was, twenty-five years old, losing a house and trying to sell my wedding ring so I could afford my bills. I put my wedding ring on Craigslist and sold it to an asian man working in a nail salon. Together, Jeff and I followed him across the street to Sam’s club so he could have the jeweler verify that it was real. In the parking lot, I exchanged the ring, for his money and we drove off in the cover of a winter blizzard. It was so surreal. We were driving in slow-motion through what felt like a snow globe and I couldn’t get over the fact that I had just sold my wedding ring. I called my mom and said, “No girl should ever have to do that.”

6. Emotionally – This is where divorce made the greatest devastation in my life. There arn’t enough words to describe the pain and the different ways it took hold on me. I wasn’t the perfect wife, but I was invested in my marriage; I meant what I said during the ceremony; divorce never was a probability. It caught me completely off guard.

In my opinion, divorce isn’t a quick fix, and it’s not a bandaid. I heard once on the radio that divorce doesn’t solve a bad marriage – it’s just like trading in one pain for another, different pain. In my situation, there wasn’t another option, (and God has since blessed me with an incredible new husband) but I want couples to know that far-reaching implications of divorce. For those couples who struggle with continual arguing, please, never throw divorce in each other’s face as a probability! It’s more than a signed decree. It’s more than taking off a ring. It’s real. And it has its costs. 

by - 0 comments

the record

On a train traveling to Ludwigsburg, Germany sat a young man. Head in his hands, paying no mind to his fellow travelers, he did nothing to try and stop the large, crocodile tears that fell continuously out of his ocean blue eyes. For twelve hours, miles of landscape passed by the windows and the steam engine continued to hum. Alois squeezed his eyes shut and balled up his fists in desperation.

Though he was only 18, life had lost all of its purpose. There was no longer any rhyme and reason. He had successfully escaped from his communist-led homeland of Czechoslovakia.  But what waited on the other side; freedom and happiness? No. All he had known had been pain, hunger, and disappointment.

He was supposed to be alongside his three friends en route to Australia and a better life. But, his visa had been denied and he was sent back to the refugee camp in Ludwigsburg. He would depart the train there completely and utterly alone; no friends, no family. There was no one in Germany to share his pain and sorrow. His escape had been for nothing. He had left his family back in Czechoslovakia and they did not even know he was alive.

Alois contemplated jumping from the train and ending it all. He felt numb; lifeless. To God, he prayed, “If you are really up there, look at me, what is happening to me? My three friends go to their new lives, and I go back to nothing. I do not have one human being in Germany to go to and I am at the end of my strength.”

Alois is my grandfather and he has an incredible story; a story of disappointments and sorrow, but also a story of God’s passionate love. My grandfather (or as I affectionately call him, “Opa”) penned his story. As I read this section, I suddenly felt a bond form between him and I, which I never knew we shared.

You see, I too sat in a seat, while tears fell constantly down my cheeks, believing my life was over and nothing was left. I shoved my face into the crevice of the seat. For 14 hours on a flight to London I battled my own personal demons. From all looks of it, God had abandoned me.

Without any forewarning, my marriage had fallen apart. My greatest fears had become a reality. My dream job was ripped away. Everything was gone. My heart was broken into countless pieces and I was deeply scarred.

Sixty-one years after my grandfather contemplated the value of his life, I followed in his footsteps. But, thankfully, Opa kept his record.  Yes, it was began as a record of his lowest moment on the train to Ludwigsburg. But, it became a record, which later tells of him meeting my Grandmother in Ludwigsburg. A record of passionate love between a daredevil of a man and his sweet bride.

Without the rejected visa and train ride back to Ludwigsburg, my Opa would never have met my Oma. Without that day, my mom would not exist – and neither would I.

I called Opa the day I read of his suicidal thoughts on the train to Ludwigsburg. He said, “Jeni, you know that was probably the lowest moment of my life. But, as I look back on it now, it was the best moment of my life.”

God has a way of doing that, doesn’t he? We blame him for orchestrating the devastation of our own personal tragedies. And, maybe we are fair to do that. Because, more often then not, He is behind our worst moments. But, while we cannot see past the reality of that single moment of pain, the same box does not bind God. He sees  the glory that awaits. In His tender way, He smiles down on us and says, “I know child. I see. But, please, just wait. just wait…”

Opa and Oma showing me the route of the train to Ludwigsburg, Germany


by - 0 comments

unanswered questions

Last year I really felt like in many ways, I lost my innocence. Like my nieve bubble abruptly popped. As if the whole of my life had just been an audition for the reality I was then facing.

The Christian life never guarantees success. The fact is, sometimes the marriage fails, the pregnancy test reads negative again, and the business bombs despite all efforts. Failure (just typing that word puts a bitter taste in my mouth) happens; and often times to those who don’t deserve it.

And then the questions become:

Was the sacrifice worth it? What of the four years I gave to that marriage? I gave so much, yet reaped so little. 

Sometimes, there are no answers, and no simple bible verses to explain why God actually allows the unexplainable.

Depressing? Yes. But, honest and real.

At 25 years old, I experienced divorce and watched my beloved, childhood church building foreclose, despite all efforts. Pain jumped out from the dictionary and became a living, breathing thing, whose grip clawed at me, threatening to chain me up forever.

Maybe your world is falling apart. Maybe there arn’t answers to your situation. But, I know one thing:

James 5:11 “You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.“

TRANSLATION: “God REALLY cares.”

Like little children in the backseat during a road trip, in the midst of suffering, we ask God, “Are we there yet?“; “Am I done with this suffering?”; and “Are we going the right way, God?“.

The truth is – He WILL get us where we need to go. As Galatians 5:9 promises, “in due time”, or God’s divinely appointed date, the suffering will be over.

Two weeks ago, Christian Newsome, the pastor of Journey Church International spoke of my testimony of divorce, recovery, and rediscovered love. It was amazing to realize that only a year ago, I didn’t believe I could ever smile again, much less fall in love again.

I wrote a prayer in the margins of my Bible asking God to give me open doors to share my testimony – that while life can fall apart, God can heal and restore. My story is a story of hope, and my hope is that God will allow many opportunities for me to share my story.

Listen to Pastor Christian’s sermon, “Patience While Suffering” here.

 

 

 

by - 0 comments

mully’s guacamole

My husband continually amazes me with his fantastic cooking skills. Last week, we had Mexican Night at the Mullikin household. Here’s his secret recipe for Guacamole!

You will need: 4 Avocados, 1 Tomato, 1 Onion, 1 Lime, Sea Salt

First, cut the avocados in half. (Avocados have a large seed in the middle, so you will want to cut to the seed and then spin it. You will then half to “break” it open.) The softer the avocado is, the better.

Remove the seed from the avocados.

Next, gently peel the skin off of the avocado halves. 

In a bowl, mush the avocados with your fingers.

Dice the onion and add to bowl

Dice the tomato and add to bowl

Salt to taste

Cut the lime in half; squeeze into bowl. (The lime will add flavor and keep your guacamole fresher)

Enjoy! Pair with tortilla chips from our favorite grocery store and some strawberry margaritas!

by - 6 Comments

wedding pictures!

The wedding pictures instantly transport me to the day that culminated the most wonderful fairytale ever told in which I played Cinderella. A week of rain and yet the clouds parted for our special day; and I couldn’t help believing that God was shining His blessings down upon us like the sun lit up the eyes of each of our guests. It was a day I will never forget.

I can still remember the details; the way the sand dollars chimed as they swung in the wind, the smile on Jeff’s face, how I forgot to spit out my gum; a certain woman in a red bikini, and the way I felt every single word I said while repeating the vows. Together, we made a covenant to one another before the Almighty. A covenant that will not be broken. 

I described the wedding to my father-in-law as perfect. 

But, as reality hits, the expensive clothing comes off, the beach fades away and we are left with real life. And that’s when love (commitment) really starts. However, I get to fall asleep every night next to the greatest man of all. It won’t always be easy, but he continually puts a smile on my face and simply put – I will love him; today and for the rest of my life. 

Here’s our love story, in case you missed it… (courtesy of Marlon Photography)

If you made it this far – thanks for checking out our wedding pictures! It’s been a wild ride, but God has been faithful and I can’t wait to see what He does next 🙂

I’m just along for the ride. 

-Jen